the world is a continuous web. Touch it at any point and the whole web quivers...S. Kunitz

FLY Yoga philosophy

we at FLY believe that when we are free in our bodies, our minds,  hearts and souls follow.

we believe we learn most about ourselves when we are given the opportunity to explore and play physically.

we believe that when we expand ourselves and reach our bodies to move a bit deeper, we meet our internal rhythms, instincts, breath, and unique strengths. Through getting to know our Selves better, we become both empowered and wise in the choices we make in life.

we believe when we are able to feel inside where we hold our fears and personal limitations, we are able to address and nurture them with kindness and move towards those places within where we can set those fears and limitations free.

we believe the safest and freest place to be is within our own selves.

we believe well-being and health is for everyone, in balance is where our bodies and minds want to be.

we believe in the healing qualities of a sweat- the purifying of toxins- of body, mind and spirit.

we believe in the healing qualities of a great song, of the vibration of sound in the system, echoing towards the heart.

we believe that who we each are at this given moment is enough and that perhaps this is all we will ever be, and once we let go of dissatisfaction, judgment and expectation in ourselves and others, we can live our truest and happiest life.

we believe in the uplifting quality of camaraderie, friendship and group activity.

we believe in the power of silence, of seat, and a quiet mind.


read the latest letter entry by Sherry Sidoti:

on the long journey home...
Last February, after a long travel from Martha's Vineyard to Los Angeles, which included car, boat, bus, plane and taxi, I put on my yoga pants and found the nearest yoga class. Eager to move stretch and breathe away my travel, the cold winter, stresses, and welcome my ten day vacation to Southern California where I planned on taking as many yoga classes as possible, I jumped into a level 2/3 yoga class. Despite my intentions to feel better, I walked out of that class limping from nerve pain shooting down my right leg that started within seconds after moving out of revolved triangle pose. The next six months went as follows: chiropractic appointments, acupuncture, four weeks of physical therapy, and finally an MRI- the diagnosis- herniated L4-L5 pressing on L5 nerve root. These months were filled with pain, doubt, anxiety, and a whole lots of "shoulds" about my body and my injury. I had been teaching yoga for six years by this time, and continued teaching during the injury, and had put an enormous amount of pressure on myself and my body to be in "top notch", to 'know better" and to "prove something", although i am not quite sure now what that was. I read books, talked to a therapist, and looked into my past, and sought to discover the meaning of the injury.
By August, I was desperate, and decided to get a cortisone injection to relieve some of the pain. Despite my disappointment in myself for going this route, it worked. I was able to relax enough in body that I could move freely again, and I proceeded on my path with a deeper meaning of myself and my work. The next five months were filled with positivity, feeling relief from pain leaving my body and connecting deeper to my yoga practice, my teaching, and strong and able bodied once again.
About six weeks ago, after some bodywork, I found the injury from last year resurface and knock me, literally, off my feet. I spent close to one month barely walking (and do you know how hard it is to dance when you can't use your legs?), and find myself again, and still in the stages of healing.  I have been forced again to go deep within, to face my demons and disappointments, to tap my sweetness too, and to challenge my core beliefs about myself, about health and about healing. And, most importantly to keep my sense of humor in the midst of this storm.
As Pema Chodron says, "We are given changes all the time. We can either cling to security, or we can let ourselves feel exposed, as if we had just been born, as if we had just popped out into the brightness of life and were completely naked".
I do not yet know what this injury means for me fully, my work as a yoga teacher, my transformations, nor do I know how my process of healing will continue. I do know, however, that while I am so very grateful for the help of Western medicine (in my case, specifically for temporary relief), I believe in the holistic messages of the body- the physical, energetic, emotional, and spirit selves- and my whole self's ability to hear, honor and heed to the calling, heal inside and out, and integrate thoughts and spirit in this process. As for now, the goal is to have no goal.
I have recently finished reading Deepok Chopra's latest Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul. In his book Chopra reminds us that "disease begins in our consciousness, so awareness is the first step to healing".  He encourages us to reconnect the body and the soul, and use this connection to embrace the whole of ourselves; "We don't say that roses have a body and soul. Everything about them, from the subtlest information in their genes to the prick of their thorn unfolds as one life".
Chopra outlines five steps to reinvent our body and five processes for reconnecting to our soul body, as follows- 1- knowing our body is fiction (to clarify, using the term generated by the wonderful author Caroline Myss in Anatomy of the Spirit, "our biography becomes our biology"), 2- our real body is energy, so healing takes place when we shift an unhealthy energy into a healthy one 3- awareness is the key to changing our body, first through reflection, then contemplation and then meditation (or un-conditioning)  4- genes CAN be changed, as they are a memory bank storing every past experience that makes us human, and, 5- the body is not a clock or controlled by time. To reconnect to the soul, Chopra outlines these simple steps; 1-there's an easier way to live (stop struggling!), 2-love awakens the soul (give love fully and live in that feeling), 3-be as boundless as the soul (soul has no limits, no timeline, no to do list), 4-grace is the fruit of surrender (and forgiveness), and 5-the Universe evolves through us (we are each thread in the great weaving of the whole, so as we change, we help to create change in all).
My teacher, Saul David Raye teaches that in order to heal- of body, mind or spirit- we have to find balance within the "Ritam" or rhythms of life- and harmonize our internal rhythms- our masculine and feminine qualities, our earth-water-air-fire qualities within to the natural world and the pulse of all of life. Without aligning ourselves to the tuning of the earth, the tides of the waters, the sun, the moon, the winds, our internal environment becomes threatened and chaotic and we move against the flow of life vs. with it. He teaches that we are in a rapid time of change on our planet.  For many of us, we are feeling these changes happen within our bodies too, and what is being asked of us is powerful, and clear- to get with the program, align our selves with these forces, align with nature and be a positive part of this shift. The most direct methodology for doing this is to stay closely connected to the heart space in each of us, as the heart is the seat of the soul.
This past weekend I went to a beautiful lecture and ceremony given by a husband-wife team here in Ojai, CA. Dr. Tudor Marinescu, MD is an Osteopath and a true facilitator of healing. Oshun Bu Bellay, his wife, is a Sha-woman and Ceremony Priestess. The day was divided into lecture and discussion by Dr. Tudor, entitled "The Divine Makings and Workings of the Human Temple of God: The Return of the Physician-Priest. Bringing Spirituality Back into Medicine" (I know, long title, but it kind of explains it all) and the later part of the day was ceremony, meditation, chanting and discussion with Oshun.
Dr. Tudor began his lecture with the basic principal that sickness, and physical symptoms of pain are not "disease", but instead, "manifestations of health", as the human body "makes no mistakes". He continued by explaining that from the moment of conception (and earlier to many traditions), we are "whole"- from the first moment that the egg opens up to allow the sperm to fertilize her- we are whole as one individual sentient cell. He explained each cell in our body represents the whole of all human functions- ability to metabolize, eliminate waste, absorb nutrients, reproduce, etc. Our bodies, then, are nothing more then an internal expression of society- similar to the community we may live in the outside world. When we observe the live body, our main pathways- both physiological and energetic- spine and fluids and meridians and arteries and nerves are comparable to highways, roads and rivers and electric lines. And our organs like groups of like minded individuals who choose to get together to collaborate to provide a function to that community; much like teachers gather together to foster educational learning or healthcare practitioners gather to facilitate healing or a cluster electricians gather to provide systems to enable currents for light. Tudor noted how in Native American traditions, all of life, from birth to death and everything in between is a community celebrated and honored event, and leaves us with the thoughts of how much healthier we could be if we were to connect back to some of the native ways of living. One thing i gained from his lecture is to consider that if we are supported by our outside community, then this helps to support our inside community of cells, and well-being is encouraged for individuals, and the entire community at large. Tudor, just like Saul, stresses that we must again find harmony and balance between the outside world that we live in and the inside world we live in.
One aspect I found very compelling in Tudor's lecture is that our genetic makeup does not "kick-in" until we are six weeks en utero which, if true, then the explanation of disease or behavior being determined by our genes is in question, which brings us back to Chopra's theory that our genes are, in fact, changeable. If the physical body consists of clusters of cells (whole, sentient beings) that function and multiply and develop on their own before any genetics kick-in, then exactly what is it that guided us prior to these 6 weeks? Was it something greater then us? Spirit, perhaps? The key then, is to reconnect to this place of spirit when we need to heal. Tudor also explained that the first cells of the heart actually develop above the first cells of the brain (about day 18 en utero) and that it is not until day 24 or so that the embryonic disc bows to bring the heart below the brain. This is an amazing concept to me, again making it clear that heart (seat of the soul) is higher then mind.
Tudor explains that in his field and practice, three factors lead to injury or illness; 1-trauma, 2- inadequate nutrition, and 3- accumulation of toxicity. These three are addressed as follows, 1-remove trauma, reset and realign, 2- cleanse the four elimination systems of the body and 3- replace non supportive mental programs, change the way we think about our healing, realign our conscious mind to our subconscious. Then we let the body to do the rest.
My personal sessions with Dr. Tudor have been healing on many levels.  while my few sessions with him have mainly emphasized removing the trauma to reset my body and realign my spine, I have been re-inspired to clean the body of excess toxins- mainly by removing the metal fillings in my teeth.  And although I am very aware of certain mental patterns and responses that have potentially led to this injury in the first place, this last point has been my main source of struggle on my own healing path. I am doing my work, so why have I not been able to fully heal? Why did this injury return in my body and why are my attempts to rehab with yoga therapy, and subtle strengthening not yet helping much? I still feel stuck in my body and in my process much of the time.
Dr. Tudor explains that the subconscious mind responds 4,000 times faster then the conscious mind, thus no matter how much I (or anyone else for that matter) consciously want to heal, I am bound to the belief systems embedded in my subconscious mind until those change, and that the subconscious will always respond by protecting us from what it perceives as danger. And we all know that when we respond in fear, we send our body into that state of flight or flight, or a state of protection, contraction and separation. And when we are in this state, the body will send the blood out of the guts, away from the immune system and puts that blood into the muscular-skeletal system so we can "run from the tiger". Sadly, many of us are currently living in a perpetual fight or flight response and our bodies are breaking down because of it.
I know that right before I was injured last year, I was extremely stressed out working to open a studio and then deciding to abandon the business project when it no longer felt like it was going anywhere, and the pressures that I had put myself under as a result of it. My body was in overdrive for many months beforehand. My inside world was confused-on one hand I was relieved to let go of the project, on the other hand I was experiencing anxiety and feelings of failure. I am convinced that living in this compromised environment of flight or flight contributed to the injury. As for this second time around, I can only think that perhaps subconsciously did not trust or feel safe with the person who was making adjustments on me, and again I fled my spirit and went into fight or flight mode. But these are immediate circumstances, and in order to recover fully, I know there is more under the surface of these circumstances, and this is the work that still needs doing.
Mahatma Gandhi said, "Your beliefs become your thoughts, Your thoughts become your words, Your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, Your habits become your values, your values become your destiny."  How can we re-write our sub-conscious, change our beliefs, our destiny? And more importantly for those of us in the process of healing, how can we go into the places we need to go to allow healing to happen once injury or illness has occurred? When I spoke with my teacher about the return of my injury, he invited me first me to check in with any unresolved emotions, beliefs, samskaras (life experiences that get caught in cellular and subconscious memory) or karma that may not have been cleared the first time I experienced this physical injury. At first I was resistant, as in my head I believed last year I already "did my work" (as if doing our work can be squeezed into a time period and is not lifelong?). This attitude created yet another wave of suffering in me- blindsided by physical pain and more tightening, and confused as to why "it" was back in my life and fielding guilt and disappointment in myself for "allowing' it to come back into my body.  At first I was unable to tap into what still needed to be resolved in me, and although I believe I was doing what I knew to stay positive, I didn't want to revisit the emotions, the samskaras and the karmas.
And when I resist I am reminded by Saul of the Maori Prayer for Healing,  "Go within, or or go without".
The yogis believe that the physical manifestation of ourselves is just one small part of what makes us whole. Each one of us, instead, have five bodies, or "koshas" (sheaths) and that we must integrate our five bodies in order for any real healing or true manifestation of ourselves to take place. When thinking of the koshas, I often imagine the self as one of those Russian dolls- the wooden dolls that you twist open to find yet a smaller version of the same doll inside? The first doll, or sheath, annamayakosha, is the is the house we live in- our physical body- flesh, bones, organs, blood, muscles, etc. The second sheath, pranamayakosha, is the energy body, or the breath body. This is our life force, our vitality. The third sheath, manomayakosha, is our mental body- the conscious software that we live with that guides our behaviors and decisions. As we continue to go in, we connect with vijnanamayakosha, which is our higher intelligence and emotions, and the forth sheath, our inner guidance, our intuitive, visioning self. And inside those lies the fifth sheath, anandamayakosha, the bliss body, the essence of us that can not be destroyed, our soul. Inside all five sheaths sits Jiva, the golden thread that connects us to all living things in the universe, or spirit. (As Dr. Tudor mentioned in his lecture, the soul is specific to the individual, while the spirit is universal). Each sheath has intricate effects on the others- for example, if our breath is shallow, our energy is effected and so is our physical body. If our mind is stubborn and stuck, this will reflect our energy and physical body. If we are are not connected with our emotional and intuitive body, then we may make decisions that put our body, or mind at risk. If our soul is detached or lost, we will be affected through all bodies, and so on.
In our modern world, many of us live in the shallow confines of our physical and mental bodies, with perhaps some short visits into the other bodies during flashes or moments. During times in my life that I have physical strength and well being and clarity of mind, these two bodies can be wonderful places to live. However, I have found, particularly during times of pain or trouble, that remaining in the physical and mental bodies create suffering because they are, for better or for worse, impermanent. When I live in body and mind only, one day I may feel great- powerful, all my clothes fit me perfectly and my hair falls into the perfect curls, motivated and directed in my thoughts, yet the next day I am second guessing myself- feeling inadequate (not the right shape, not strong enough, delicate enough, etc) or confused and overwhelmed by the constant loop of dramas that play and replay in my mind (am I smart enough, successful enough, liked enough, safe enough, etc).  If we only connect to the physical and mental parts of ourselves, then our entire world crumbles when those parts of ourselves start to malfunction, or if there is any trauma or injury. On the contrary, when we give ourselves moments to connect with our other three bodies, when we slow down and deepen our breath and open up space inside, when we connect to the places in us that can not be changed- our true self, our soul, our inner wisdom, then our perception of ourselves begins to change. We begin to connect with our own light, and then we begin to connect with the light of all living things (spirit), and we become as I see it, free. This is where I imagine true healing takes place.
In yogic philosophy there is also the law of karma. We come into this body with layers of karma and continue to create more in this lifetime. Karma is a complex system of "what goes around comes round" and is woven into the fabric of our cells, our memory, our actions and our thoughts.
There is the karma accumulated from past lifetimes and the universal wheel of karma, called Sanchita Karma. We investigate by looking deep at patterns that continue to haunt our lives, such as finding ourselves in the same type of destructive relationships time and time again, reoccurring addictive behaviors, etc. Like the mouse spinning on it's wheel, we continue to spin in the wheel of our Karma until we learn to change our patterns and behaviors. This takes work, attention, reflection, a whole lot of self-love, and a strong desire to free our soul from these cycles.
There is Agami Karma, or all the karmas we start accumulating since we were born in this lifetime only. These are our the actions, thoughts, and intentions that we choose that will either help us to clear karma or create more, which is the karma most of us think of when we hear the word. In order not to create new karmas, we must be attentive to how we choose to live our daily lives, and the yoga practice helps us in this process by outlining yamas (social ethics, restraints so to speak) and niyamas (inner purification process, or practices) to live by. 
Finally,there is Prarabdha Karma, or the purpose of this life- the experiences that your soul needs to grow in the here and now. These are the "there are no mistakes" life events, the magic moments, albeit painful ones, that help us to grow, such as an accident, in an illness or injury, a loss of job, a lover leaving, or other life events that sometimes feel out of our control. Our problem, however, is we often get stuck by such life events and fall into the "why me?" trap. The idea is to instead, seek the lesson, the blessing or the "ah-ha" moment. And be grateful for the experience and move on.
Within the realm of Prarabdha Karma are our own personally desired karmas (called Ichha), our karmas that were accumulated without desire (Anichha) and the karmas we have to live out that are the result of other people's desires (parechha). The later we inherit from our parents, family members, and "tribe" or community/society. These are often appear in our lives as fears, prejudices and behaviors that we cling to because we believe they define us, our "conditioning", or the positions you often find yourself "arguing for or against". If asked, you might discover you do not even really own that opinion or belief system, but learned it. The release of this later karma requires self-study and self-knowing, so that you can choose to relate to your truth and connect deeply with your core beliefs and not anyone else's and then, in knowing oneself, we can make decisions in life that serve our soul and not further disconnect ourselves from our Selves.
Whatever the karma, our soul has the deep calling to be free, and will continue to present experiences through this lifetime and beyond, until this freedom happens. I remember the story that Saul once shared with our class about a monkey trap used by hunters in India. A hole is carved into a tree trunk just big enough for the monkey's hand to fit through. The hunters put food inside the hole (via the backside of the tree), something large so that when the monkey puts her hand through the hole and grabs the food, she is unable to pull her hand with the food out of the hole. So she stays there clinging to her food until the hunters capture her. When all along, all she had to do was let go and she'd be free. Instead she chose to cling to her death. Many of us live our lives similar to the monkey. Clinging on to our ways, our karmas- when all we need to do is choose to let go and we'll be free.
Now don't get me wrong. Illness occurs, injuries happen, and we aren't to blame ourselves for being sick or hurt. Instead, however, we can use these experiences to go deep inside ourselves and connect to the nugget of gold that awaits us, and there, is where we allow the real healing to take place. That healing may be as simple as temporary pain relief in the part of the body that hurts, but deep healing in the subconscious mind and soul. Or perhaps it is simply a place to go to to shut off the mind's chatter and our story to our injury, so that we do not get in our own way of healing. Like the cast on the broken arm, which has no healing property other then it offers protection from the arm getting knocked around anymore. Under that cast, the body is healing itself. As the french humorist Voltaire said, "The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease".
What techniques can I apply so that I can create that cast? Amuse myself? Get out of my own way? Re-write my subconscious? Release the samskaras from my many sheaths? Shed my karmas? As a yoga practitioner, I am grateful for and explore the many techniques for clearing the subconscious and samskaras . To name a few-  asana (physical posturing), chakra clearing (energy work), pranayama (breath work), mantra and chanting (sound healing), kriya (body cleansing techniques) and puja (ceremony and ritual). But the one technique that always seems to help me out of my funk is the most simple one- to sit and breathe and clear the mind. To meditate.
"Be within", I hear Saul say again, "or be without". 
Here is where I sit still. And still sit. I ask for the energetic cast- with prayer, with breath, with laughter. Guided by nature and love and my family and my teacher and the releasing of my old ways that keep me stuck.
Chopra reminds us "to resurrect your soul, you must do the opposite of what your past conditioning tells you to. Instead of turning to a higher power, you turn to yourself. Instead of leaving your body behind, you take it on the spiritual journey...even when you lost contact with your soul, your body didn't. Cells keep the faith. They have been using 'higher' awareness since you were born".
Pain is a great teacher. It is important to listen to what the pain in my body is telling me, as keys into my soul and as a bridge to my spirit. If the physical manifestation of my injury is in fact a result of long term blocked or an excess of energy in a particular center of my body, then how can I, as Chopra encourages, turn unhealthy energy into healthy energy? I feel the process as this- each energy center can be attributed to or affected by certain emotions, those emotions come from imbedded thoughts and behavior patterns, those behavior patterns come from life experiences (this life and past lives) and are transmitted as karmas, samskaras, blockages. All of the above deeply affect my subconscious, and sometimes lead to the separation of my soul-self. When I am disconnected from my soul, I am unable to feel my connection to community and to spirit. And when I am unable to feel my connection to community and spirit, I feel alone and helpless and separate from myself and incapable of healing. The pain may be felt in one region of the physical body, but it vibrates from and through the energetic, intellectual, emotional, wisdom, soul and spirit bodies. And almost anyone, from western or eastern philosophy or medicine, will tell you that aside from trauma, almost all injury can be traced back to patterns that must have been ongoing for sometime for the injury to occur. Thus I must continue to dig deeper to examine those patterns- be it the way I stand or contract my muscles, to the way I react when I feel threatened, or the way I respond to love and affection. My physical pain, as I see it, is begging me to, "live in the layers" of my self, and to rehabilitate from the outside in, and the inside out, and everywhere in between.
But pain can also be extremely debilitating and so intense, and at times I found too intense to even be able to go to the place of examining anything else then wanting relief. And this type of clutching makes any healing almost impossible. And this is where I found western medicine to be extremely helpful in my process. And however I may feel like a "traitor" to admit that I go to the pain relief when needed, I have. And it has been very helpful to "take the edge off" enough to go into the pain. And I find myself there waiting.
The sanskrit word "Sukah" translates as, "to be in a good space, to be in light". "Dukah" however, means to be in a bad space, to be in darkness. My teacher reminds me that the difference between sukah and dukah is no more no less then a state of mind. The circumstance is the same on the outside- we can choose to see it as light, or see it as dark.
And this, has become my yoga. Accepting it all. Finding what works for me. Finding the sukah.
It has been humbling, and while very difficult, also a huge gift. And I am grateful. I am learning to be kinder to myself and listen deeper to my body's calling, instead of pushing myself beyond a healthy place. I am more empathetic and compassionate towards others who may be suffering and in pain. I am releasing the pressure of other people's impressions of me and my need to "be strong". I am reminded that my worth is not determined by how many warriors, arm balances and inversions I can perform. I have asked for help, and am allowing myself to receive it. I again meet my yoga practice- the study, my meditation, my breath, and daily gain a deeper respect for this great gift of Yoga.  I have been able to work with handful of amazing healers from all traditions, east and west and am beginning to find my personal expression of how I choose to balance the two. I am allowing my husband, my son and friends to cheer me up and bring me back when I go into the dark crevices of "why me?". I am reminded by the hour of how truly devoted my family is to me and allowing that deep feeling of love to penetrate me in every cell. Yes there is faith here. I welcome the moments of physical relief and connection to all of the universe and peace of mind and positivity.
I have fallen back in love with small things. Like the smell of orange blossoms and the beauty of rain clouds stuffing into the sides of mountains. Like how a funny You Tube video sent by my sister can cheer me up or a spider weaving her web in the lampshade on the desk can send me in amazement. Like how the words "I love you too mom", even with the tone of hesitation, fill me.
And I discovered that while being still during morning meditation on the deck outside the cottage, bluejays fly next to me and sing in my ear.
Do not get me wrong, I have also gone to the dark, cloudy, stormy places. To the guilt, to the shadow, to the feeling sorry for myself, to the worry, the blame and anger.  And somehow, I seem to come back to my practice, and the clouds seem to move on for a bit. And I recognize that all of this is me, and this is ok.
My work now is to go in, go in, go in; observe habits, reactions, and to find ways to release all I hold on to that no longer serves my soul. To call upon guidance, from my ancestors, my angels, my teachers, my community, my loved ones and the Universe. And to do all of this with acceptance of who I am in each given moment. And do my best to and love and honor what is, and move towards my light. When I am able to look at my own imperfections with love and willingness to stand in the discomfort of being myself then I feel more able to call in strength and healing for myself, for my loved ones, all beings and our planet- simply just by being and loving and creating and not judging and holding positive space. And most importantly, accepting what is. And finding a balance with the Ritam of the planet and the Ritam inside me. I know now that if I spend my time and energy upholding my importance or grasping onto how I want things to be, vs. how things are, then I grow deaf and distant from my soul's song. I have often been my worst enermy, and have traveled far in body, mind and spirit to avoid doing my work. Yet I find, as Ooguay from Kung fu Panda so clearly said, "one often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it."
They say we can see the reflection of our soul in the eyes of the people in our lives. Thank you all for being in my life and reminding me all that I am. I am blessed.
I am still learning to let go. To be with what is. To be thankful for the challenges. To find my inner grace when these challenging moments crawl into the every bit of it all. And to be with my experiences as they unfold in me and to face them with an open heart and a generous spirit and a touch of laughter. Just today my seven year old son Miles woke up saying that The Buddha and Ganesha visited him in his sleep last night. "They said to give you a message", he said "they want to tell you that you don't have to push it so hard. Stop pushing and you will get better". HariOM
I am so grateful for this new body and new body of beliefs. I will continue to be in my practice for my own healing, and I look forward to being part of yours- if you'll have me.
My beloved husband Robert has said, ever since the injury came through me last year, that this experience is meant to take me somewhere, "to my calling" he says. And today, I feel he is right.
It is meant to take me on the long journey back home to my spirit.
with enormous love and gratitude,
Sherry